Saturday, January 12, 2008 ♥
Okay.
I decided to post for the THIRD time today.
I told you guys that I'll be doing my maths.
but instead, I went to eat and talk to my youngest brother.
okay, I dont know when will I do my maths.
boo!
anyway, I decided to post again, cause I just remembered what coach said when we had floorball meeting earlier today.
"the floorball team will be going for an overseas trip from 8th-11th March 2008 for an exchange programme. all seniors are supposed to go as it is compulsary for you guys. only selected juniors will be going so if you want to go, you have to pull up your socks."
turns to the senior cohort and said,
"seniors, I know the last time we went overseas for an exchange was dont know how many years back. so, its time for you guys to go overseas again with the team. Hanny, please take charge of their attendance and their playing. you should know my standard of playing floorball. seniors who really cannot go, please raise up your hands."
I looked around(I was going like, *ohh shit? what am I supposed to do?),
"[I raise my hand up]. coach, I'm sorry. I won't be able to go overseas with the team. I have got LeadershipByChoice camp on the 10th and 11th March."
practically, everyone stared at me.
and coach went,
"what?! are you serious? you are the captain and you cant make it?"
the rest of the team never turned away, so I said,
" guys, I know I'm the captain of this team. but you guys have to go for it even without me. you guys can do a good job even without me. I will be for you guys. I'll train you guys till the overseas trip comes. I will, I promise. dont think that the team cant do it. you all must have confidence in yourselves. what if I quit? you guys wont slack away right? you still have to move on right? come on guys. dont worry. you still have your vice-captain with you. nizam, will sure do a great job without me."
there was minutes of silence, then Nizam speaks up.
"I guess Hanny's right. even without her, we must go on. we cant think so low of ourselves. at least, she's being sensible here. she knows what she's doing. we must support each other as a team, not tearing one another down. where's the team spirit that we used to have? do you understand me?"
everyone started to have their small talks.
suddenly they made the floorball cheer.
I felt so touched lahh okay.
but still, I felt so guilty.
mann, but, school events comes first.
sorry guys.
I then went to talk to coach;
me: I'm sorry coach. I cant go with the team this time.
coach: I understand. but I thank god for having such a captain like you.
me: what do you mean?
coach: you see, the previous captain was the slack type. and doesnt even concern about the team. when you talked to your peers earlier on, I felt touch by your senseless behaviour. I'm honoured for you speak up and supporting the team eventhough you will not be there
me: I was just thinking of something since everyone looked so down when I said that I cant make it. so, I just had to boost their confidence. but coach, can I ask you something?
coach: ohh, what is it?
me: what if I quit this team?
coach: *stared at me for a minute* are you seriously going to leave this team? I have seen you grow up ever since you joined this team. I can see your potential in the team. and you are leaving?
me: [as I was just a dumbass, I just said something stupid] I was just asking. okay coach, time has ended. I'll dismiss them
coach: ohh yes. we will talk some other time.
in my heart, I was going like *shit
now what am I supposed to do?
damn it.
I dont want to leave the team but I have to.
ohh crap!
coach doesnt want me to leave.
even my team mates will not agree if I leave the team.
mann, I'm so lost.
help me! anybody???
"guys, meeting had ended. I'll see you guys next week for training. juniors, like what coach had said, buck up if you want to follow the seniors for the overseas trip. turn up for training for everybody. if you have any problems about schoolwork or anything, you can approach me or Nizam. we'll try helping you guys. anyway, enjoy your weekend. and happy schooling. and always remember, school comes first. before everyone leaves, let's fo the floorball cheer"
okay, it has been a tradition to do floorball cheer before leaving.
so, after that I headed to Marina Square to eat with Nizam, Sakina, Ashroy, Amelia and Fatehah.
and I talked to Nizam about me leaving the team.
he was shocked. (like what I have guessed!)
and he told me that he'e leaving too. (I was shocked to the core!)
so, eventually, both of us intend to leave the team.
then I asked his reason and all.
ohh my!
then after that, we talked about the future team.
how it will be like and all.
mann, we are such *losers.
with a heavy heart, I headed home.
thinking of what Nizam had said and all.
and the team's confidence without me?
holy whack!
I dont know.
but, I dont want to think about it.
so, damn.
whatever.
Nizam promised that he will sms me tonight after his soccer training.
so, I guess there will lots to talk about especially what happened earlier today.
*bummer
I will end here then.
so long.
ANYONE CAN HELP ME?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!